Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
