Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize