I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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