he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
