never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
