the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
