Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
