Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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