Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
