yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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