Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize