Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
