Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
