At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize