Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
