Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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