Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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