Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
