apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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