i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
