All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
