I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
