Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
