I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
