You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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