if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
