I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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