Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
