You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
