A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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