so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
