Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
