i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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