CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
