New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize