I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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