I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
