and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
