Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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