around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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