"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
