So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
