You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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