I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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