i don't like sucking hair
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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