he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
