It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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