It's like God shit irony all over that family
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
