Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Small penises have feelings too.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
