and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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