If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
