Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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