remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
