Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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