DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
