Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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