Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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