drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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