Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
