I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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