quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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