physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
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Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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