I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
