I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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