I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
