If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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