we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
