i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
