Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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